she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
