I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
