u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
