Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
