yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
