It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
