Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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