It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
