I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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