I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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