it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
