Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
