eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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