She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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