Sorry, I don't speak sober.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
