Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
