Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
