WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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