I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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