U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
