During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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