new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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