why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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