somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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