Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
