Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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