I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
