I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize