my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
