May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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