dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
