last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
