Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
