My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
