Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
MIDGETS
????
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
