I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
