I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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