the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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