I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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