susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
