fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize