Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
