ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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