At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
