sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How's work?
Spinning.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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