what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it because I queefed?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
