I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
