I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
