So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it's great music for shaving your balls
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize