everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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