Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
