is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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