i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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