he told me I talked like a deaf person
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
