Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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