Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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