He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
