Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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