So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
