He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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