You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So much rum. So many feels.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
