Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She announced her abortion via fbk
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
