i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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