Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize
