you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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