Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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