A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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