you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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