She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize