You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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