I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize