You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
