this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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