okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize